‘Riting Resolutions

A new year. A new commitment to writing the great American novel. Perhaps quotes from other writers will motivate you:

Don’t get it right; just get it written. ~ James Thurber

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. ~ Stephen Wright

If you wait for inspiration, you’re not a writer, but a waiter. 
~ Anonymous

There are three rules for writing. Unfortunately, no one can agree what they are. ~  Somerset Maugham

Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators. ~ 
Olin Miller

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. 
~ Jules Renard

Writing is the flip side of sex – it’s good only when it’s over.
 ~ Hunter S. Thompson

The first chapter sells the book. The last chapter sells the next book. ~ 
Mickey Spillane

What no wife of a writer understands is that a writer is working when he’s staring out the window. ~ Burton Rascoe

I try to leave out the parts that people skip.  ~  Elmore Leonard

I love being a writer.  What I can’t stand is the paperwork.  ~ Peter De Vries

Easy reading is damn hard writing.  ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

It is better to write a bad first draft than to write no first draft at all.
 ~ Will Shetterly

And if all else fails …

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand. 
~Raymond Chandler

What a character!

One of the most difficult tasks in writing is developing believable characters that readers will identify with … relate to … love or hate … but never ignore. Whether on screen or in print, the trick is to invoke a viewer/reader’s response: “I know a guy like that!”

A key component to creating believability is actually using characteristics from real people, or creating composites by blending personality traits of friends, family, even acquaintances. Nothing says a writer needs to replicate an individual in his or her entirety (unless, of course, the work is a biography or memoir). Little kernels of truth can go a long way.

Cartoon characters, too, are often modeled after — and demonstrate — the quirks and idiosyncrasies (or idiocies) of humans — common folks as well as celebrities. But now the question is, as evidenced by the images my brother sent me, which came first: the “lady” or the “panda”?

An Article about Alliterations

I’ll admit it – I’m an alliteration addict. I relish the use of repetitive sounds in a string of words like a snake slithers sideways.

I spend way too much time thinking of ways to sign off on an email or create a Facebook post with cheesy phrases like, “Your Favorite Funny Friend,” or “Terribly Tired of Thinking,” or “Wicked Weather Wipes out Wisconsin.” You get the point.

Wait a minute. What is the point of an alliteration? To irritate the hell out of the reader? Not really. To impress others with our cleverness? Doubtful.

Headlines are famous for them; having only a limited number of words and space, an alliteration is effective in getting our attention: Duchess Dons Daring Dress, Haunting Halloween Hideaways, Police Provide Prince Protection.

Alliterations can be fun, too, commonly known as tongue-twisters: she sells seashells by the seashore; Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

The real question is, should writers avoid the caustic or cutesy communications? Not necessarily. In moderation or for a specific purpose, the technique can be a great way to infuse humor or drama in a manuscript. But beware, too much of a good thing can be well … annoying, aggravating, and absolutely awful.

Write On!

You might not find a Hallmark card recognizing it, but November is National Novel Writing month – Chris Baty’s batty brainchild begun in 1999 as a dare to write 50,000 words in a month. The activity has grown into a full-blown event, with over 200,000 participants willing to take up the pen – and put it down again at 11:59:59 November 30. (Check out http://www.nanowrimo.org/en for more details.)

Writing, you have probably heard, begets writing. One cannot be a novelist without lots and lots of practice. Whether it’s 50,000 words in a month or one million words before expecting to be published, as Doug Unger, UNLV’s Creative Writing Department Chair preaches, the point is that the great American novel takes perseverance and hard work. A photographer takes thousands of pictures in hopes of getting “the one”; so if a picture is worth a thousand words, a thousand pictures are worth … well, you get the idea.

Luckily, future F. Scotts need not go far for a nudge – or a kick in the pants. Writeordie.com ‘encourages’ writing by punishing those who procrastinate (like having your English teacher in a box!) with operant conditioning and negative reinforcement playing key roles. 750words.com is the modern-day online journal, designed simply to reward us for writing three pages (or about 750 words) a day, without having to post in a blog or share with friends on Facebook. Redroom.com connects writers with others – guest accomplished authors, budding beginners, and everyone in between. And of course, the iconic Stephen King inspires even the most hesitant storyteller with tidbits and tricks of the trade in his On Writing.

And for those who hesitate to write for fear of bludgeoning the English language, a plethora of material exists, so no excuses! Constance Hale’s Sin and Syntax: How to Craft Wickedly Effective Prose offers grammar’s ground rules while at the same time sharing ideas that make writing fun and fantastic. And I am forever referring to an old favorite, The Deluxe Transitive Vampire: The Ultimate Handbook of Grammar for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed, by Karen Elizabeth Gordon, for those grammar gotchas that often stop writing (and the writer) in its tracks. And Grammargirl.com has gotten me out of a jam more than once.

Bottom line? Write now!

Redpengirl repreive

Clients are often concerned that editors will change their voice, alter their writing style, or otherwise change their story so much that the original “flavor” of their manuscript is lost.

Grammar, punctuation, and spelling aside, I wouldn’t dare use a red pen here! (Thanks to my literary lady friends who passed this along…)

Grammar in the digital age

In advance of a teleseminar with the National Association of Memoir Writers tomorrow (Friday, September 16), I wrote a blog to get participants riled up! The full article can be read here:

Christian Science revealed

‘Fathermothergod’ a fabulous, painful memoir of faith

Posted by Jami Carpenter, Las Vegas Review-Journal guest reviewer
Wednesday, Sep. 14, 2011 at 05:00 AM

I’ve read many books about people finding themselves through religion or breaking free from their religious upbringing. In “Secret Ceremonies,” Deborah Laake tries to makes sense of herself and her Mormon faith. Anne Lamott’s “Traveling Mercies” and “Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith” explore Christianity. Barbara Kingsolver’s “The Poisonwood Bible” tells the story of a Baptist preacher and his family spreading the word in the Congo jungle. In Geraldine Brooks’ “People of the Book,” we are taken on a journey in search of a rare book of Judaism.

I had not, however, read anything — fiction or non — involving Christian Science, until “fathermothergod,” Lucia Greenhouse’s very painful and very personal account of growing up within this lesser-known faith. Like many, I had heard that Christian Scientists do not believe in medicine; they do not visit doctors or take any prescriptions, even over-the-counter pain relievers. But I never knew why. Greenhouse explains to us and tries to understand herself, first through a child’s eyes, and then as a young woman, why her own parents — both educated and intelligent — not only condoned the tenets of the religion, but dedicated their lives, and the lives of their three children, to its practice.

To onlookers, the Greenhouse family is “normal”: The children attend school, birthday parties, sleepovers, summer camp. The family is well-dressed, well-fed, well-mannered. Yet internally, Lucia struggles to accept her parents’ belief system, confronted time and again with information contrary to the teachings. Finally, faced with their own mother’s “error in thinking” (the Christian Science explanation for illness), Lucia and her siblings rebel against their parents in an attempt, though futile, to save their mother’s life, and in the process, lose their father’s acceptance.

Though “fathermothergod” is Greenhouse’s story, it resonates with anyone wanting to understand another’s beliefs, or trying to understand his or her own.

Does Grammar Really Matter?

The National Association of Memoir Writers has invited me to share my thoughts on this very topic in a podcast teleseminar this Friday, September 16 at 11 a.m. Hope you can participate! For more details, click here:

Kick the Kindle’s …

… Ads.

On a recent flight from Los Angeles to Portland (home of Powell’s, one of the coolest bookstores ever!), I found myself engaged in a delightful discussion about the t- (for traditional) vs e-book with the guy next to me.

My seatmate’s wife had given him a Kindle, which is great for all the traveling he does, but like me, he misses seeing, smelling, coveting a “real” book. We mourned the loss of an era, wondering if the traditional book will go the way of cassettes, vhs tapes, or God forbid, the 8-track. The conversation led to a critique of the current commercials and advertising: the geeky old PC geezer trying to keep up with the cute young MAC girl; the cute young girl on her way to a brick-and-mortar bookstore waylaid by a hip young man with a Kindle. No elaborate sets, no fancy props; just the facts, ma’am.

So why not, we thought, fight fire with fire? What if traditional publishers (or the many, many smaller, indie pubs) create their own ads? A couple of cool twenty-somethings on a long flight, one enjoying a book while the other’s iPad loses battery power. Fans lined up to have Stephen King sign their … Kindle. Walking through a hip Soho loft with a floor-to-ceiling bookcase, empty but for a … Nook.

I’m not opposed to progress or technology; I think ebooks are great, too. But let’s not “close the book” on books. Hey, even the vinyl record is making a comeback!

Apostrophe Teed Off

Just in time for back-to-school shopping, Old Navy will probably be offering T-shirts of 70 major colleges at reduced prices, thanks to a punctuation faux pas: a rah-rah cry to “Let’s Go” without the apostrophe.

Ouch.

I’ve always believed proofreading would pay off!