Monthly Archives: April 2010

Spell check gone bad

At a recent writers conference in Las Vegas,  I presented a workshop on editing and handed out this little “tail” to emphasize the importance of NOT relying on spell/grammar check . How many mistakes can you find?

Once there was a sweat little girl that was going threw a faze always wearing a read hood and a cloak that complimented her hare. Every one called her Little Red Riding Hood.

One day her mother tolled her, “Take this basket of whine and cake. You’re grandmother has bin sick, and these will aide her recovery. Pleas be careful, or you mite fall in a whole and brake the bottle,” she said, hoping to ensure that the treats would stay in won peace.

Little Red Riding Hood went on her weigh. She passed the village and when she entered the woods a loan wolf came up to her. She did knot no he was a wicked animal.

“Good day, Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going sew early?”

“To bring some cake and wine to Grandmother over their in the woods.”

The wolf racked his brain, wondering weather two grab her now or later. Then he said, “Hay, Little Red Riding Hood, have you scene the beautiful flowers over there in the field?’

“I am not aloud to leave the mane road.” But the sent of flowers soon lead her off further into the meadow. Meanwhile, the wolf went too Grandmother’s house and knocked on the door.

“Whose there?”

“Little Red Riding Hood. I halve some cake and wine four you. Open the door.”

“Come in,” called out the grandmother. “I’m to week to get up.”

The wolf came in, went strait to Grandmother’s bed, and ate her up. Then he put on her close and cap. He got into her bed and hid out of site under the covers.

When she finally made her whey to her grandmother’s, Little Red Riding Hood saw the door open. She moved foreword, went to the bed, and peaked under the covers. Grandmother was they’re with her cap pulled down over her face, looking different then before.

“Oh, Grandmother, what big ears you have!”

“All the bettor to here you with.”

“Oh, Grandmother, what big ayes you have!”

“All the better to sea you.”

“Oh, Grandmother, what a horribly big mouth you have!”

“All the better to eat you!” He flue out of bed, jumped on top of pour Little Red Riding Hood, and eight her up. Then he climbed back into bed, rapt up in the covers again and fell asleep.

A huntsman past buy the house and saw the open door. Inside, he found the wolf in bed. The huntsman new the wolf had swallowed the grandmother. Instead of shooting him, the huntsman took a pear of scissors and cut open the wolf’s belly. Out popped Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother illiciting shouts of joy.

Little Red Riding Hood did not waist any thyme; she fetched sum large heavy stones. They filled the whole in the wolf’s body with them. When he woke up and tried to run, the stones were so heavy that he fell down dead.

The huntsman took the wolf’s pelt. Little Red Riding Hood gave her grandmother the flowers she had picked. And they all ate the cake and drank the wine. The morale of the story is that you’re mother is always write.

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Filed under English language, grammar, punctuation, spell check